Sung by 'Constantine' to the tune of "Maria" in the musical "West Side Story"
A council I'll call at Nicea.
By means of politics
I'll make those heretics
Different doctrines they've been promoting;
Now at last we can solve it by voting.
They'll never stop quoting Nicea!
The crown of my brilliant care-er
Because I'm Emperor,
They've all got to defer
I'll gather the whole ecclesia,
And suddenly they'll find
They all are of one mind.
I can hear theologians saying:
Let's all go, since the Emperor's paying!
For unity they will be praying . . .
Author unknown, from Orthodox Sunday School. Permission pending.