Become a Santa

or The Secret of Santa

by Leslie Rush, a high school history teacher in El Paso, Texas, written ten years ago in response to an online forum query about how to handle it when kids begin asking whether Santa is real. The little boy is her son, Adam, now 32 years old, and this year [2016] passed along the gift of becoming Santa to his own son Tristan. This came from her husband’s mother, whose own grandfather turned her into a Santa during the Depression. As Leslie says, "Making that personal connection, you learn something more about someone . . . It also teaches about doing for others without getting credit. You have to be thoughtful, put yourself outside of yourself."

"I believe it to be in the spirit of St. Nicolas. I don’t believe he had supernatural powers, but the message within his actions, it supersedes religion, it supersedes a lot of the separations we encounter," Adam Rush said. "Putting that into action, something as simple as to take the time to do something for someone. They call it the spirit of St. Nick, and it is."

In our family, we have a special way of transitioning the kids from receiving from Santa, to becoming a Santa. This way, the Santa construct is not a lie that gets discovered, but an unfolding series of good deeds and Christmas spirit.

When they are 6 or 7, or 8 or 9—or whenever you see that dawning suspicion that Santa may not be a material being—that means the child is ready.

I take them out "for coffee." We get a booth, order our drinks, and the following pronouncement is made:

"You sure have grown an awful lot this year. Not only are you taller, but I can see that your heart has grown, too." I point out 2-3 examples of empathetic behavior, consideration of people’s feelings, good deeds the child has done in the past year.]

"In fact, your heart has grown so much that I think you are ready to become a Santa Claus. You probably have noticed that most of the Santas you see are people dressed up like him. Some of your friends might have even told you that there is no Santa. A lot of children think that, because they aren’t ready to BE a Santa yet, but YOU ARE.

"Tell me the best things about Santa. What does Santa get for all of his trouble? We work our way from "cookies" to the good feeling of having done something for someone else. "Well, now YOU are ready to do your first job as a Santa!"

Make sure you maintain the proper conspiratorial tone.

We then have the child choose someone they know—a neighbor, usually. The child’s mission is to secretly, deviously, find out something that the person needs, and then provide it, wrap it, deliver it—and never reveal to the target where it came from. Being a Santa isn’t about getting credit, you see. It’s about unselfish giving.

My oldest, Adam, chose the "witch lady" on the corner. She really was horrible—had a fence around the house and would never let the kids go in and get a stray ball or Frisbee. She’d even yell at them to play quieter. Adam noticed when we drove to school that she came out every morning to get her paper in bare feet, so he decided she needed slippers.

His next task was to go spy on her and decide how big her feet were. He hid in the bushes one Saturday, and decided she was a medium, so we went and bought warm slippers. He wrapped them up, and tagged it "Merry Christmas from Santa." After dinner one evening, he slipped down to her house, and slid the package under her driveway gate.

The next morning, we watched as she waddled out to get the paper, pick up the present, and went inside. My son could hardly contain his excitement, and couldn’t wait to see what would happen next. The next morning, as we drove off, there she was, out getting her paper—wearing the slippers. Adam was ecstatic. I had to remind him that NO ONE could ever know what he did, or he wouldn’t be a Santa.

Over the years, Adam chose a good number of targets, always coming up with a unique present just for them. One year he chose the daughter of some friends of ours, who were going through some tough times. Christmas for them was looking pretty bleak. With the help of his father, he poslished up his bike, put a new seat on it, and with her parents' permission, placed it on their back porch. The look on her face, when she saw the bike with a big bow on it, was almost as good as the look on my son’s face.

When it came time for his brother Kelly to join the ranks, Adam came along, and helped with the induction speech. They are both excellent gifters, by the way, and never felt that they had been lied to—because they were let in on the Secret of Being a Santa.

By Leslie Rush, Facebook, the story went viral in 2016. Information about Leslie Rush from "The story behind the beautiful way this mom told her sons the truth about Santa," by Colby Itkowitz, The Washington Post, December 19, 2016.

Leslie Rush says: About 15 years ago I shared with some online friends what my husband and I did to tackle the Santa question. I can’t take credit for the idea of being a “Secret Santa,” but the idea of being let in on a secret is irresistible, especially at Christmas. Over the years I reposted it in a few places, always urging people to pass it along, since it worked so well for us. A couple of years ago it went viral and was featured on sites all over the world. Knowing it's still going after all this time, and so many people are enjoying it is more than I ever imagined. Enjoy, keep sharing, and Merry Christmas to all!