Talking with Children about Santa Claus
We are frequently asked about talking with children about Santa. Some what to know if it is "okay" to have Santa. Others are concerned and want their children to always be able to trust them to tell the truth. And some are just exploring how to structure their own particular family life in this season. Here are several ideas for talking about Santa Claus.
Our family experience
by Carol Myers, St. Nicholas Center
How to Talk to Your Child About Santa Claus
from an experienced teacher
The Flint Journal's response to such a question
A book: The True History of Santa Claus
Become a Santa
one family's special way
Santa doesn't need kids to be "good"
St. Nicholas, Protector of Innocence
 St. Nicholas Center Collection |
Our family's experience
by Carol Myers
It makes a big difference what a family chooses to emphasize during the holiday season. We always talked about how many days until Christmas—how many days until we celebrate Jesus' birth—not how many days until Santa comes. Most Christmas gifts were from family and friends—the people who love us, rather than Santa. Santa did fill stockings, of course. There might also be some small presents under the tree whose tags said, "from Santa."
Our tree usually went up about a week before Christmas and presents would appear over the next days, making time to shake and speculate. Gifts did not "magically appear" on Christmas morning, having been left by Santa during the night. Santa did, however, come and fill the stockings.
Children developmentally come to an age where they try to work out what is real and what is fantasy (or pretend). With my own children I responded to such questions by asking, "What do you think?" or "How do you think it happens?" This would usually deflect the question and the children would then do their own wondering and thinking and come out in a place that was right for them at that time.
If most of the seasonal emphasis and talk isn't about Santa, then Santa Claus doesn't become such a big issue. If a child believes "everything" comes from Santa it must be very threatening to think that maybe Santa isn't "real" and if you don't "believe" there won't be any gifts.
Children and parents both love the magical feeling of both St. Nicholas and Santa. Celebrating St. Nicholas Day, we did say that St. Nicholas was the real person of faith behind Santa Claus; the idea of Santa came from St. Nicholas—the real and original Santa. St. Nicholas helps move focus to giving and caring for others, rather than on what we will be getting.
We had the fun of both St. Nicholas, early in December, and Santa Claus, at Christmas, without losing the center of Christmas, the birth of the Christ Child.
How to Talk to Your Child About Santa Claus
Experienced teacher Sonia Leal recounts the dialogue she had with her nine-year-old daughter. The question came as her daughter's school friends were challenging "belief" in Santa Claus. This is frequently the catalyst to such a discussion. The author believes that the way this question is handled sets a tone and pattern for other difficult questions that will emerge as a child grows into adolescence.
The first two sections of the book, "The Dreaded Question" and "The Historical Explanation" are very useful in helping a parent work through how to respond to the Santa question. She nicely shows how to weave the story of St. Nicholas into today's Santa. The book underscores the importance of honesty and generosity. The later sections are a pleasant memoir, but less directly useful for answering the question.
Articles about St. Nicholas and Santa Claus
Links
some thoughts on talking to children about Santa
The Truth About Santa, New York Times Room for Debate
suggestions for families from a variety of perspectives
3-Minute St. Nicholas Retreat
from Loyola Press
5 Widely Different Ways to Handle the Santa Issue with Questioning Children
from Jesus Without Baggage
An Open Letter to the Child Who Does Not Believe in Santa
this is just a lovely account of joy from St. Nicholas
back to top
Click for our list of currently available books from Amazon and other sources.
Out-of-print books may be found in libraries or the used book market.
• = some of our favorites
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Ssshh . . . Santa's Secret Society: Where Secrets are Unlocked, and the Magic of Santa Lives on Forever!
Magical Traditions, 2015
Middletown, Delaware
A story to be personalized showing all the people that are "Santa" for a child. The child is invited to become part of the "Santa's Secret Society" and to keep the "Santa Secret." A magical key ornament is suggested to commemorate the child's new status.Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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The Secret of the Santa Box
Treehouse Publishing Group, 2017
St. Louis, Missouri
For parents
As children grow and have Santa questions, this book shows parents a way to bring children into being gift-givers as showing God's love in the worldPurchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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The (Wonderful) Truth About Santa
Laditan Press, 2015
USA
A simple story beginning with St. Nicholas, who gave in secret, telling how others then gave in secret, like Nicholas. Then parents did, too. The child is invited to become a "Santa" too.Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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Santa: The Whole Story: Truthful Answers to the Question: "Is Santa Real"
2013
Simple book linking Santa, the Nativity, and St. Nicholas, ending by inviting the reader to join in the fun of giving. Self-published book has some unfortunate typos.Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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How to Talk to Your Child About Santa Claus
CreativeSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2014
Experienced teacher shows how to have a sensitive dialogue, bringing together historical St. Nicholas with today's Santa Claus, while encouraging honesty and generosity; helpful guide for parents.Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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The Santa Club
Palmary Press, 2011
Henderson, Nevada
This book offers a fresh way to answer the question, "Is Santa Real?" while preserving both facts and the magic of Christmas. The approach may be adapted from what is presented in the book.Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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• The Secret Society of Saint Nicholas
Declare Dominion Publishing, 2020
Children asking questions; parents, too
The truth leads to deeper understanding of magic in the world, drawing children into an expanding understanding how they are able to give in many ways; beautifully producedPurchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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A Gift from Saint Nicholas (A companion to "A Visit from Saint NIcholas" for children ready to know more)
Ryan Sabean, 2026
Tampa, Florida
Children asking Santa questions
Nicely illustrated tale to assist children making a transition in their understanding to Santa Claus and love and giving.Purchase from amazon.com
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• The True History of Santa Claus
PP Company Limited, 2003
Hong Kong
A ten-year-old boy, who stopped believing in Santa Claus when he was nine, has an adventure that causes him to believe again—this time in the real Santa, too. The tale includes Christmas Eve miracles, gifts, stockings, magic and snow, while being factual, historical and true to the story in Bethlehem. Highly recommended for children (and adults) asking questions about Santa.Purchase from AbeBooks
Purchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
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Maybe The Truth About Santa
Shiny Red Ball Publishing, 2005
A simple guide to help children make up their own minds about Santa being real as the spirit of givingPurchase from amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca
More Books About St. Nicholas
General St. Nicholas Books
Picture Books for Younger Children (and all ages)
Picture Books for Older Children
Books for Older Children
Saints Books for Adults
Saints Books for Children
Activity Books and Other Resources
Christmas Books with St. Nicholas
Related Books
Books in Other Languages
Children's Books in Other Languages